Narcissists are terrible gift givers. That is because they don’t like to give (unless it is in the beginning of the relationship when they are faking who they are or they are trying to get something from you). Narcissists are takers.
The best gift my ex ever gave me was the day he left when I showed him the door. On that day I didn’t realize it because I was so confused and twisted around by all the lies and drama. But it didn’t take long…. before I was celebrating that it was over. Once I realized who he was… I never, ever looked back and so thankful that he was gone.
Of course, a narcissist wants to keep control so they try to get back in to your mind and heart, once they realize you have shut them out. And that is when you may have to fake it to get away from them. Do what ever you need to do to become safe and out of their reach. They can become quite unpredictable when they realize they have lost their toy. Some are dangerous. So stay safe and get help if you need it.
However, whatever you do. Never open you heart again. They will try everything to try to make you care again. It can range from throwing a tantrum, threatening or even trying to hurt you – to writing love notes, apologizing, saying everything you have been wanting to here, being attentive, sending gifts or doing you favors.
Another way they get to you is to make you feel sorry for them. They have big sob stories. Once you get away…… they will tell people sob stories about you. Yes! No matter what they’ve done…. cheat, stole, lied, abused…. they will tell others a very convincing story about how crazy you are and how they are the victims. You didn’t know this…. but when you were together they were already insinuating things, exaggerating your short comings, and even blatantly lying about you. You didn’t know it…. but they do this with everyone that gets close to them… or rather thinks they are close to them.
Narcissists throw the biggest pity parties. It’s a way to disarm you and to test your empathy. They look for people that are highly empathetic. They manipulate your emotions to help them. But they don’t want help. They want you to serve them. Stick up for them while they play meek and humble. Take their side on the long list of people who have wounded them.
The narcissist tries to cause great damage when they leave. They want you to be upset and care. They thrive off your injury. It is often why they try to keep old exes or potential victims around. Once you realize who they are and that the person you though you loved doesn’t exist…. you stop caring.
The narcissist likes to be in control. They are the puppet masters! They have these people feeling sorry for him, working these people for future victims, these people hating each other, these people mad at him… etc. He delights in his manipulations and lies. He thinks he defines others reality. But guess what? You’re on to him, now! The mask has slipped and you see him for what he is. He is now weakened and loses all power and control. You grow strong and gain your self power again. He will never again – define your reality.
Say no to abuse and drama!
Now go live your wonderful life!